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Defining Love

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Love is a word that many people find hard to understand because its use in English has become quite sloppy. It is used to denote pleasure ("I love ice cream"), sexual desire (I want to make love to you"), intention ("I'd love to get my hands on that"), as a measure of caring ("If you love me, you'll do what I want"), and to express addictive need ("I'll die without your love"). The effects of love in contemporary song and story even sound like vitamin deficiences (insomnia, upset stomach, loss of appetite, fever, chills, etc,).

In Hawaiian the meaning of love is very clear and it provides a useful guideline for loving and being loved. Aloha is also the word for love. The root alo means "to be with, to share an experience, here and now." The root oha means "affection, joy." Thus the full translation of aloha becomes "to love is to be happy with." This means that love exists to the degree that you are happy with the object of your love. In any relationship with a person, place, or thing, the happy part comes from love and the unhappy part comes from fear, anger, and doubt. You don't get sweaty hands from being in love; you get them from fear. You don't get hurt from being in love; you get hurt from anger. What you get from being in love is happiness, the intensity of it depending on how deeply you are in love. To be deeply in love means to be deeply connected, and the depth and clarity of the connection increases as fear, anger, and doubt are removed.

~Serge Kahili King

9 comments:

Shirley Twofeathers said...

I'm curious to see what you guys think of this. I do think that love is the connection... and I also think that you can love someone and not be "happy" with them. I do agree that fear, anger, and doubt act to diminish connections... but I'm not at all sure that love itself can be diminished in any way. Maybe our ability to channel it could be diminished...

Anyway... I'm curious to see what you guys think!

the gay bookworm said...

I think it kinda goes back to what we were saying about the "cottage cheese" and loving what is. You can and should(?) love yourself and others for who and what they are right now, right now. You may not like some behaviors etc...but you still love. If we could only feel love for people when they were perfect or meeting are every expectation we would not be "in" love to often. I think you can be aware of your or anothers faults but still love them in a deep and meaning full way. And I think I have real life experience with this one.

the gay bookworm said...

I found this on BeliefNet and I just love it. It is a Pagan prayer by Ceisiwr Serith. It is a prayer for bedtime.

As I go to bed, I pray to the High Gods.
I offer you my worship, and ask you to bless my family.
I ask if I have done anything to offend you? If I have I ask for forgiveness and for guidance that I might walk the sacred path in peace and in beauty.

As I go to bed, I pray to the gods of my household.
I offer you my worship and ask you to bless my family.
I ask if I have done anything today to offend you? If I have, I ask for forgivness and for guidance, that I might walk in the sacred path in peace and in beauty.

As I go to bed, I pray to the Ancestors.
I do you honor and ask you to bless my family.
I ask if if I have done anything today to offend you?
If I have, I ask for forgiveness and for guidance, that I might walk the sacred path in peace and in beauty.

As I go to bed, I pray to the Land Spirits.
I do you honor and ask you to bless my family.
I ask if I have done anything today to offend you?
If I have, I ask for forgiveness and for guidance, that I might walk the sacred path in peace and in beauty.

As I go to bed I pray to all numinous beings.
I do you honor and ask that you extend your blessings over me and mine.

--I hope you all enjoy this as much as I do. If I have done anything to offend you I ask for your forgiveness and I offer you my love.

Anonymous said...

How beautiful! i love you and i am sorry....

Shirley Twofeathers said...

Daniel - I love that prayer! I'm going to post it tomorrow (that would be... Tuesday). Thank you! I love you!

Shirley Twofeathers said...

And as I was re-reading the comments, something else occured to me... I remember once a long time ago reading (or hearing) the statement that people do not love us for our perfection. What makes us loveable are our frailties, our vulnerabilities, our flaws and our faults... At the time I found it to be very comforting, and over time I have come to believe that it is pretty much true.

And I think that part of the reason it's true is that not one of us is perfect, and when we work so hard to erect the facade of perfection and right action... a mask of no mistakes and no flaws... we have then created a wall that cannot be breached by those around us... but when we agree to let other people see us in our gloriously flawed and imperfect wholeness... the walls are down and then connection (love) is possible.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Shirley Twofeathers said...

We do have a policy that we do not allow anonymous comments.

Anonymous said...

Forgive me. I am sorry.

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