My Thoughts On The Subject

This was an interesting project for me. It's one of the few projects we've done that uses a technique that I regularly use and which actually works for me. There hasn't been a lot of enthusiasm for it, however, and I think it's because the word "begging" tends to be an instant turn off for most people as we usually associate it with extreme neediness and a fair amount of lazy good-for-nothingness. Nobody wants to be "a beggar."

And yet, begging works for me. Now, understand that I wouldn't be caught dead begging an actual human being for anything. I'd live under a bridge in a box in the dead of winter in Anchorage Alaska with nothing to eat but a few crumbs of moldy dog food and still I wouldn't be begging anyone for anything. That's a fact. Begging implies groveling and groveling isn't in me. I just can't do it. Can't and won't.

You could hold a gun to my head, and I'd refuse to beg or grovel. And I know this is true because I once had a knife at my throat - and absolutely no groveling or begging occured. As a matter of fact, it didn't even cross my mind. I was like... ok... well go ahead and kill me then.

However, when it comes to begging the Master of the Universe - we have a whole other story. And I think it must have something to do with who I want to be perceived as in the world versus who I know I really am. I would die before I allowed the "world at large" to see me as a pathetic loser. On the other hand, I'm pretty sure the Master of the Universe, the Powers that Be, my Guides, and Angels are well aware of how completely pathetic and loser-ish I can be. No point in trying to fool them. They know full well what a mess I've made of things, and it continues to amaze me that what with all my mistakes... help is still available to me when I ask for it.

And yes, many people simply ask - and receive. That's great! Some of you wish and desire, or maybe you conjure or affirm... But for me? I've got to be reduced to desperation and begging before I can get out of the way long enough to allow for something good to unfold. Before I can "let go and let God" - I have to have hit the wall so many times that I don't even care anymore how my problem gets resolved, I don't care what I stand to lose, or what I stand to gain, and I'm no longer afraid of what changes might actually occur in me, in my situation, or in my life. I am abject... I am totally relinquished... I have flung myself on the altar... I have said "do what you will"... I have waved the white flag of surrender.

And then - magically - surprisingly - and it's always a surprise to me - a solution unfolds. Wrongs are righted. Disasters are averted. I wonder what my life would look like if that white flag came out more often...

As for the project in general, I was very intrigued by the video on panhandling. And I did feel a sense of comfort and maybe even gained some confidence in knowing that it is possible to get money by begging - even though I'm sure I'd never do it. The fund raising stuff was also fun, I did like the idea of writing a donation letter to the Powers That Be, and I think I might use that fundraising website to raise money for... I dunno... siding for my trailer... a car for my daughter... something big and important.

I did follow along with the Praying For Prosperity posts - it was fun to take that trip back to 2006. And a little unnerving as well. So many things in my life have changed since then. And so much remains the same. So there you have it, folks. My thoughts on our Begging For Mercy project. Anyone else have anything to say about it?

How Not To Ask For Money

Here's something that might be relevant to our current project on begging. It's a 9 point list on how NOT to ask for money, found at AmnestyVolunteer.org.

1. Not Asking. People have been heard to say, "If we do good work, the money will follow." Money doesn't have legs. You have to ask for it.

2. Beating around the bush. Because some people think asking for money violates good manners, they'll hint at it rather than asking directly. "We are so broke I just don't know how we're going to pay the bills. By the way, I just love your new car."

3. Dishonesty. Don't lie to get the money. It's much better in the long run to be truthful about what you're doing and what you need the money for. Don't say things just because you think that's what your prospective donor wants to hear.

4. Begging, apologizing or demanding. Donors give because they believe in what you're doing. So you have to believe too. You're asking them to support the work that your organization is doing, so you don't need to beg, you have nothing to apologize for, and demanding is inappropriate.

5. Ignorance about your organization's financial picture. If you're asking for money, you better be able to explain how it's going to be spent, where else you're getting money from, etc.

6. Asking for too little. We tend to ask for less than we need because we don't believe anybody will give it to us. It's better to ask for what you need, as long as it's appropriate, than to ask for an amount that won't get the job done.

7. Making assumptions. Often we don't ask because we've decided ahead of time that the person we're thinking of won't want to give. Unless you have a very concrete reason for knowing that the person is not a good prospect, never assume or make decisions for someone else. If they can't give, they are perfectly capable of saying no on their own.

8. Giving up. Persistence is the key to successful fundraising. 50% of your asking will end up in no's. So you just have to keep asking and "get to yes."

9. Stopping at yes. Remember to go back to those who have said yes once. If they've said yes once, then you want them to consider supporting you again. Make them into loyal supporters. Don't forget to ask again.

Notes from Shirley:
 
I found it interesting that begging is #4 on the list. Which brings me to the question:
 
Asking for donations, what is it really? Isn't fundraising a form of begging? How is it essentially different from  panhandling? What do you guys think? Why is it that asking for help for someone else is more acceptable, more respectable,  and generates more money than asking for help for yourself?

As for the Prayer Project we've also been following, it's a Sunday Morning Cartoon with some interesting comments. Check it out if you feel so inclined.

Now What?

I wasn't quite sure where to go from here... so I took a clue from the related 2006 post on prayer, Exploring The Concept and went on an exhaustive internet search. Here's what I came up with for today.

It's by Mark Victor Hansen and is all about How to Ask for What You Want ... and Get it! and yes, I realize that he is referring to asking people. That being said, I do think a number of these concepts can also apply to prayer and begging the Powers That Be for aid and assistance. Here's the article, I'll be interested to hear what you think:

One of life's fundamental truths states: Ask and you shall receive. Isn't that simple? Of course it is. The world responds to those who ask. Most people in this world, however, find themselves in settled lives, never really achieving or receiving what they hold in their dreams ... because they just never ask.

The truth is, when you take control of your life by asking for what you want and need, you can accomplish anything your heart desires. No doubt, you know of people who seem to walk into any situation and any relationship expecting success. They achieve success again and again because they've learned — and acted on — one simple truth: You will reach your goals only with the help of others.

Here are seven ways to ensure that your asking gets results.

1. Ask with confidence.
If you ask with confidence, you will get more than those who are hesitant and uncertain. A confident state of mind will affect everything else: your body posture, eye contact, tone of voice, and choice of words. Confidence, however, does not mean being brash, arrogant, or conceited. When you've figured out what you want to ask for, do it with certainty, boldness, and confidence. The only downside is that your request may be denied. You are in no worse position than before, and it simply means that you need to look for another route for results.

2. Ask clearly.
Be precise. Think clearly about your request. Take time to prepare. Use a notepad to pick words that have the greatest impact. Words are powerful, so choose them carefully. Ask for what you want, not for what you don't want. At the same time, be careful what you ask for. More often than not, you get exactly what you've requested!

3. Ask someone who can give it to you.
Before you ask someone for something, make an assessment of whether or not that person will be able to give it to you. Some people are very qualified and motivated to help. Others just aren't capable of delivering. Watch people and review that capacity. Do you know that this person is capable of delivering what you're about to ask him or her, or are you just hoping the potential is there?

4. Ask consistently.
Some people fold after making one timid request. And they quit too soon. Keep asking until you find the answers. In sales, for example, there are usually four or five no's before you get a yes. Top producers understand this. When you find a way to ask that works, keep on using it.

5. Ask creatively and with humor.
Humor captures our attention and breaks down our defenses. Creativity disarms our resistance and opens our minds to new possibilities. In this age of global competition, your asking may get lost in the crowd, unheard by the decision makers you hope to reach. There is a way around this. If you want someone's attention, don't send an ordinary email, fax, or letter. Use your creativity to dream up a high-impact introduction. You may not want to go so far as the saleswoman who sent a chief buyer a homing pigeon with her card attached to one leg, and on the card she had written, "If you want to know more about our product, just throw our representative out the window." Think of what you could do to create a powerful impact with your most important prospects and don't be surprised when those impenetrable doors swing wide open to welcome you in.

6. Remember: You must give something to get something.
As Zig Ziglar says, "You can get everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want." When you're asking, always be sure to explain how the other party will benefit and win because they've acted positively on your request.

7. Ask sincerely.
You can have anything you want if you want it desperately enough! Keep that unbridled passion for your purpose, project, or goal stirring in your mind as you begin to ask. When you truly need help, people will respond. Sincerity involves showing a willingness to be vulnerable. Tell it the way it is, lumps and all. Don't worry if your presentation isn't perfect; ask from your heart. Keep it simple and honest, and people will open up to you. Maintain eye contact throughout the entire asking process. This further demonstrates your integrity, trustworthiness, and passion for the subject.

You can turn your life around, regardless of the obstacles you currently face. Get clear. Get passionate. Take a giant step past that fear. And if at first you don't succeed, take this minor setback as a signal to you ... to ask again!

Defining Begging

I asked Websters Dictionary for a definition of the word beg. Here's what I came up with:

transitive verb
1: to ask for as a charity
2a : to ask earnestly for : entreat
2b : to require as necessary or appropriate
3: evade, sidestep (see "beg the question" below)

intransitive verb
1: to ask for alms
2: to ask earnestly (begged for mercy)

— beg the question
1: to pass over or ignore a question by assuming it to be established or settled
2: to elicit a question logically as a reaction or response (the quarterback's injury begs the question of who will start in his place)

Synonyms:
adjure, appeal (to), beg, besiege, beseech, call on (or upon), conjure, entreat, implore, importune, impetrate, petition, plead (to), pray, solicit, supplicate,

Synonym Discussion:

• beg suggests earnestness or insistence especially in asking for a favor (children begging to stay up late)
• entreat implies an effort to persuade or to overcome resistance (intreated me to change my mind
• beseech and implore imply a deeply felt anxiety (I beseech you to have mercy) (implored her not to leave him)
• supplicate suggests a posture of humility (with bowed heads they supplicated their Lord)
• adjure implies advising as well as pleading (we were adjured to tell the truth)
• importune suggests an annoying persistence in trying to break down resistance to a request (importuning viewers for contributions)

The companion post from 2006 - The Inner Dad - is interesting. Our parents, both inner and outer, have such a profound effect on how we "do" and "don't do" life.

Begging As A Spiritual Path

I've done some research, and it looks like we are in good company. Turns out begging is an ancient spiritual practice, accepted and respected in many parts of the world. Not only that, but giving to begggars is also a good thing.

Here's what I found on wikipedia:

In many, perhaps most, traditional religions, it is considered that a person who gives alms to a worthy beggar, such as a spiritual seeker, gains religious merit.

Many religious orders adhere to a mendicant way of life, including the Catholic mendicant orders, Hindu ascetics, some dervishes of Sufi Islam, and the monastic orders of Buddhism. In the Catholic Church, followers of Saint Francis of Assisi and Saint Dominic became known as mendicants, as they would beg for food while they preached to the villages.

In many Hindu traditions, spiritual seekers, known as sadhus, beg for food. This is because fruitive activity, such as farming or shopkeeping, is regarded as a materialistic distraction from the search for moksha, or spiritual liberation. Begging, on the other hand, promotes humility and gratitude, not only towards the individuals who are giving food, but towards the Universe in general. This helps the sadhu attain a state of bliss or samādhi.

In traditional Shaivite Hinduism, old men, having lived a full life as a householder in the world, frequently give up materialistic possessions and become wandering ascetic mendicants (sadhus), spending their last months or years seeking spiritual enlightenment. Villagers gain religious merit by giving food and other necessities to these ascetics.

In Buddhism, monks and nuns traditionally live by begging for alms, as did the historical Gautama Buddha himself. This is, among other reasons, so that lay people can gain religious merit by giving food, medicines, and other essential items to the monks. The monks seldom need to plead for food; in villages and towns throughout modern Thailand, Cambodia, Vietnam, and other Buddhist countries, householders can often be found at dawn every morning streaming down the road to the local temple to give food to the monks.

For those of you who are also following our first project on prayer - Praying For Prosperity - here's a link to  A Work In Progress - the next post in that series.

Asking For Help

Naturally, when asking for help from a divine source, there are no set in stone, my way or the highway, rules and regulations. I do think it's good to be aware that asking is different from affirming, commanding, and demanding. Also, asking is not bargaining, baiting, or bribing.

Asking is a simple "please," followed by what is requested. Preferably the attitude is humble, and keep in mind that willingness, gratitude, and openness is more appropriate than petulance, resistance, and feelings of entitlement.

With that in mind, here are some suggestions for how to ask our Angels, Guides, the Higher Power, the Goddess or the God, the Powers that Be, and/or the Master of the Universe, for help.

• PLEASE help me...I can't see my way through this, but you can.
• Solve it or dissolve it, please. And thank-you.
• I request a Most Benevolent Outcome for my problem with .... and may the results be even better than I can hope for or expect, thank you!
• I love you. I know you love me. Here's the situation. Thank you for helping me with it.

If you are also following our original project on prayer, here's that post - Getting It Right.