Making Assumptions

Making assumptions and taking things personally are energy drains that tend to affect just about everyone.

Humans are exceptionally good at creating meaning. With every occurrence in our lives or every statement someone makes, we're constantly asking: "what does that mean?" Sometimes meaning helps us to know where we stand, but much of the time the meaning we create is, frankly, an incorrect assumption. How many energy units go down the drain each time you second-guess the meaning of someone's words, actions or inactions?

Think of the last time you spent an hour, a month, a year (or longer) having made the wrong assumption about an interaction with someone. How much energy did it cost you? The next time you find yourself making things up about someone's words or actions, ask them for clarity so you can deal with the truth, and move on.

Keeping Details In Your Head

Keeping details in your head instead of in a system can be a real energy drain.

Your brain, like a computer, only has so much RAM (random access memory). And RAM is mental energy. When you rely on yourself to remember your shopping list, your to-do list and your dentist appointment, it eats away at mental energy you could be using elsewhere to create a greater impact in your life.

It's not that all those tasks aren't important, but what if you had the mental energy to complete that major report, write your book or create a more powerful business strategy?

Think of each item you need to remember as an energy unit. How many energy units do you spend keeping details in your head? Find (or create) and begin using a system to track and remember things for you. Use it daily, and you'll free up more mental energy to accomplish higher leverage projects and tasks.

Doing Nothing

We all need space -- free from demands, deadlines, expectations and judgments -- to explore who we are and what life is all about. Free time, with absolutely no agenda, is rich with potential. How can we grow if we have no space and freedom to dream?

"Deny children -- or anyone else -- the chance to do ‘nothing,’ and we may be denying them the chance to do ‘something’ -- to find and do any work that is truly important to themselves or to someone else."

~John Holt

One of the reasons to plug our energy drains is so that we can have the time and the energy to do what it is we want to do with our lives, and to be who we want to be in the world. And it occurred to me that "free time" is just as important as cleaning out a closet or dealing with a difficult situation. So... with that in mind:

What can you do today to free up your time and your energy so that you can have a space of time that IS free from demands, deadlines, expectations, and judgments? Would it be a good day to just drop everything and go for a nice long walk on the beach? (I wish) Or maybe it would feel good to clear your calendar and create a weekend of fun and relaxation. I don't know what works for you, I don't know what's possible for you, and I'm wondering if there isn't something, some small thing that you could finish, rearrange, or clear out that would allow you some space to be free and unencumbered.

And just in case you're not sure what that might look like, you can visit this link. It'll take you to a web page that illustrates exactly what I'm talking about.

What I'm going to do is this:

Next weekend is my own. No blogging, no errands, no to do list, I'm going to find someone to take care of my animals, and I'm going to do absolutely nothing for two days in a row!! No plans, no agenda, no expectations. I was going to say that I would play and have fun... but that's a plan and an expectation. Then I was going to say that I would be "in the moment" listening only to my inner self - and again that's a plan and an expectation. So... No plans for me, no expectations, no agenda. I'm going to have 2 whole days of space and breathing room.

How cool is that? What are you going to do?

A Well Oiled Machine

My sister's life runs like a well oiled machine. It's actually very impressive, especially in comparison to my own life which tends to run more like an old contraption tied together with baling wire and duct tape. What I like about her life is that there is so much breathing room. When I visit her, I don't feel as if I have a thousand things hanging over my head ready to come crashing down on at any moment. It's very restful.

And while my situation will always be different from hers, I do think it would be really cool if my old rust bucket of a life ran more smoothly, and it would be really nice if when I came home I could feel a stronger sense of relaxation and peace. I'm thinking that every one of us would like to have our lives run more smoothly, and that we'd each like to see more serenity in our homes, more harmony in our relationships, and the energy freed up so that we can create and give and be all that we want to be in the world.

When our energy drains are out of control, when they have grown like weeds in a well fertilized garden, when we are knee deep, and they are waist high like an uncut lawn in early summer, they bury us in chaos and disorder, they complicate our lives with dysfunction and disaster. They are the rock that's about to fall, the roof that's about to collapse, the sharply held breath, the restless sleep, and the undercurrent of resentment and despair that doesn't allow us to simply breathe and be. They are the terrible stories we tell ourselves about how we aren't good enough, or smart enough, or deserving enough, or strong enough, or whatever other thing it is that we whisper into our own hearts when things aren't going well, and maybe even when they are.

And guess what - a lot of those things are really easy to take care of. What feels overwhelming and impossible is the idea that we have to do it all at once. But guess what! We don't. One small step at a time, we can take care of the details in our lives. In real time, right here and right now, we can do something. This is why we're doing this particular project - so that we can get into the habit of taking action.

So, here's today's challenge:

Does the boogie man live in your mail box? Unopened mail, stacks of unpaid bills… are they draining your energy? Here's something you can do right now. Grab that stack of bills, pull out one bill (it doesn't matter which one), open it, and yes - actually look at it. Can you pay it?

• If the answer is yes - WOW Awesome!! Pay it. And I don't mean pay it tomorrow, pay it right now.
• If you aren’t going to be able to pay it at all this month, it's not the end of the world... believe me... it isn't. So, draw a heart on the envelope, or maybe a happy face, say I love you and I’m sorry, forgive me and thank you and then toss it! Throw that baby away. (Don't worry, you'll get another one next month.)

If today isn't a good day for paying bills because payday is next week, that's fine too. Don't open any bills, open some of that other mail. Open something, read it, and then either sit right down and send a reply, or throw it away.

YEAH! You have done one thing about your energy drain! Super YEAH! If that felt good, maybe you'd like to open another envelope? Pay another bill?