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Renegotiating Your Commitments

Monday, April 05, 2010

For today's post, I wanted to look at the idea of renegotiating our commitments. Maybe we could start off with a list - a list of all the commitments we can think of that we've made to ourselves over time. Then, one by one, we could go down that list asking ourselves the following questions:

  1. Am I still committed to this?
  2. If the answer is yes, how much time (energy, effort, etc) am I willing to commit, and when? What are my parameters? And what are my "deal breakers" in this situation?
  3. If the answer is no, am I willing to release myself gently, no hard feelings, no guilt, no anxiety, and just let that one go? And how shall I celebrate this new freedom?

This one is worth some time I think, even if it takes several days to compile the list and go through each thing.


Karla said...

What if you don't want to release yourself from the commitment but you slacked off a day or two and feel like a cheater? I was doing so well but on my trip to the folks at Easter, I just got too busy chatting and hugging and enjoying everyone that I didn't do my sit ups on two days! Is that it? Do I lose the game against myself? It would have been simple for me to do those sit ups and I didn't. How much room should we give ourselves for renegotiation before it turns into making excuses? Anyone have some ideas on what to tell myself to keep up the enthusiasm now that I feel like I let myself down?

Shirley Twofeathers said...

Hey Karla - I think it's perfectly acceptable to RENEW a commitment if it lapses... also important to FORGIVE yourself and start over.

The hardest thing is to get back on that horse! In my experience, once I've broken a commitment to myself, it makes it soooo much harder to start over and stick with it. And I'm not sure why...

Hmmm... maybe I'll do some research and see if I can come up with something I can post that will help us out with that.

Karla said...

That would be great! I know it's supposed to be , "If at first you don't succeed...try, try again" but sometimes when you slip and fall, it's easier to crawl around on your hands and knees awhile. I found these quotes helped put things in perspective:

"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried." unknown

"If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it." W. C. Fields

"If at first you don't succeed, do it like your mother told you." ~Author Unknown

"If at first you don't succeed, find out if the loser gets anything." Bill Lyon

Shirley Twofeathers said...

I love those quotes!! Especially the WC Fields one.

Shirley Twofeathers said...

I wonder why my last comment isn't showing up in the "recent comments" box!

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