Another approach

When confronted by an uncomfortable situation, or when someone comes to you with their pain story or their trauma drama, think again about who (or what) you love, remember that feeling? Allow it to expand to include yourself and the other person, allow it to expand to include their situation.

Just hold them there in that bubble of warmth and love. You don't have to "do" anything, you don't have to "fix" anyone, it's not necessary to "say" the right thing, just simply holding the other person and their story in that focus of love will be enough.

And then, when you feel comfortable that you have them firmly enfolded in love, that's when you can ask for forgiveness and healing for whatever it is within you that has allowed such a story to unfold for them... and that's when you can remind yourself that there is no "other" person.