Embracing Reality

After you have turned around the judgments in your answers to numbers 1 through 5 on the Worksheet (and found at least three examples for each turnaround), turn number 6 around using "I am willing..." and "I look forward to..."

For example, "I don't ever want to experience an argument with Paul" turns around to "I am willing to experience an argument with Paul" and "I look forward to experiencing an argument with Paul." Why would you look forward to it?

Number 6 is about fully embracing all of life without fear, and always being open to reality. If you experience an argument with Paul again, good. If it hurts, download another Judge-Your-Neighbor Worksheet and investigate the thoughts you haven’t looked deeply enough into. Uncomfortable feelings are merely the reminders that we've attached to something that may not be true for us. They let us know that it's time to identify the stressful thoughts and do The Work.

Until you can see the enemy as a friend, your Work is not done. This doesn't mean that you have to invite him to dinner. Friendship is an internal experience. You may never see him again, you may even divorce him, but as you think about him, are you feeling stress or peace?

In my experience, it takes only one person to have a successful relationship. I like to say that I have the perfect marriage, and I can't really know what kind of marriage my husband has (though he tells me he's happy too).