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My Thoughts On The Subject

Wednesday, February 09, 2011

This was an interesting project for me. It's one of the few projects we've done that uses a technique that I regularly use and which actually works for me. There hasn't been a lot of enthusiasm for it, however, and I think it's because the word "begging" tends to be an instant turn off for most people as we usually associate it with extreme neediness and a fair amount of lazy good-for-nothingness. Nobody wants to be "a beggar."

And yet, begging works for me. Now, understand that I wouldn't be caught dead begging an actual human being for anything. I'd live under a bridge in a box in the dead of winter in Anchorage Alaska with nothing to eat but a few crumbs of moldy dog food and still I wouldn't be begging anyone for anything. That's a fact. Begging implies groveling and groveling isn't in me. I just can't do it. Can't and won't.

You could hold a gun to my head, and I'd refuse to beg or grovel. And I know this is true because I once had a knife at my throat - and absolutely no groveling or begging occured. As a matter of fact, it didn't even cross my mind. I was like... ok... well go ahead and kill me then.

However, when it comes to begging the Master of the Universe - we have a whole other story. And I think it must have something to do with who I want to be perceived as in the world versus who I know I really am. I would die before I allowed the "world at large" to see me as a pathetic loser. On the other hand, I'm pretty sure the Master of the Universe, the Powers that Be, my Guides, and Angels are well aware of how completely pathetic and loser-ish I can be. No point in trying to fool them. They know full well what a mess I've made of things, and it continues to amaze me that what with all my mistakes... help is still available to me when I ask for it.

And yes, many people simply ask - and receive. That's great! Some of you wish and desire, or maybe you conjure or affirm... But for me? I've got to be reduced to desperation and begging before I can get out of the way long enough to allow for something good to unfold. Before I can "let go and let God" - I have to have hit the wall so many times that I don't even care anymore how my problem gets resolved, I don't care what I stand to lose, or what I stand to gain, and I'm no longer afraid of what changes might actually occur in me, in my situation, or in my life. I am abject... I am totally relinquished... I have flung myself on the altar... I have said "do what you will"... I have waved the white flag of surrender.

And then - magically - surprisingly - and it's always a surprise to me - a solution unfolds. Wrongs are righted. Disasters are averted. I wonder what my life would look like if that white flag came out more often...

As for the project in general, I was very intrigued by the video on panhandling. And I did feel a sense of comfort and maybe even gained some confidence in knowing that it is possible to get money by begging - even though I'm sure I'd never do it. The fund raising stuff was also fun, I did like the idea of writing a donation letter to the Powers That Be, and I think I might use that fundraising website to raise money for... I dunno... siding for my trailer... a car for my daughter... something big and important.

I did follow along with the Praying For Prosperity posts - it was fun to take that trip back to 2006. And a little unnerving as well. So many things in my life have changed since then. And so much remains the same. So there you have it, folks. My thoughts on our Begging For Mercy project. Anyone else have anything to say about it?


Cindy H said...

This month's project was very thought-provoking. I agree with you, Shirley, I would also never be found on a street corner asking for money. But what can it hurt to try the fund raising thing? Might be worth a try!

I have to say my life has changed almost completely since 2006!! Is that the first year of the project? I have learned so much participating in the Prosperity Project and I am certainly a lot more prosperous in MANY WAYS than I was when you began it! Thank you!

Karla said...

I agree, Cindy, this project was thought provoking. I like the way so many different sides of BEGGING were presented. Great job, Shirley! I still don't know if it's just the WORD begging that triggers an instant stigma-type feeling in me, but I found that the feeling of "WHY NOT?" crept in the more I read about beggars and fundraising. If we don't ask, people may not know the depth of our need. I changed up my "wishing on a star" prayer time this month to really beg for help with a couple issues: financial and family. I think it worked! I was able to pay the bills due and have almost made it to the 15th payday. I had zero gas (drove there on fumes) and zero cash when I went to do readings last Saturday and FOUR clients came in...$100. So grateful about that! I feel a peace about my family dilemna and will continue to pray and "beg" for clarity and direction in that.
After all, WHY NOT?

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