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About Yesterday's Exercise

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Edvard_Munch_The_ScreamI found yesterday's exercise really interesting and informative. The first thing I discovered was that my list of energy drains looked more like a "to do" list than anything else. Which got me wondering whether or not one of my energy drains is an out of control "to do" list (which of course is true), or if I just didn't have a clue as to what my energy drains really are (also true), which sent me scrambling for our next series of posts which includes questions, a quiz, and a "yes" list.

Another thing that happened as I was saying the Ho'oponopono mantra was that I found myself saying, "I love you. I'm sorry. Please forgive me." - NOT to myself, and NOT to my energy draining to do list, but instead to my little dog Cinnamin. She died last year of cancer, and I have been holding a spirit of extreme unforgiveness for myself for allowing that to happen to her. There are so many things that I might have done differently, so many "could of" "should of" "why didn't I" "what if I" and "if only" etc. etc. ad infinitum. I knew I held myself responsible, and I knew there were plenty of unresolved issues, but I didn't realize the extent of the self judgment, nor did I realize just how invested I am in believing that her suffering was my fault. I am very very angry with Shirley, and this is probably the biggest energy drain of all.

So... today I'll be uploading some interesting stuff from Oprah.com, and I'm hoping that you guys will find it helpful and informative. I'll also be looking for something on self forgiveness. I think that if I can navigate my way through that, I'll be well on my way to having the energy to really create something good for myself.

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