So far, it's been very interesting! This morning I read the comments from the "sister" post back in 2006, Still Praying For Prosperity. In my comment, I mentioned that I had found a $49 dollar check in my purse which I thought I had deposited... And guess what! Yesterday I found a $300 check in my purse that I was sure had been deposited. Fascinating! Coincidence? Synchronicity? What?
This brings up the question of why am I still having issues with getting money and then not depositing it? Do I feel undeserving? Am I trying to hold onto it? What?
Now, on to our current project - does anyone have any questions? Have you done any recent begging? If so, what are your experiences? Do we all know how to beg? What are our thoughts and feelings about begging? Do we have issues around asking for stuff for ourselves? Is it way easier to beg for help for someone else? How well did begging work for you as a child? How well does it work for your children? Let's get some dialogue going!
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Random thoughts about begging:
Shari and I have a game where we see people at the side of the road begging and we try to determine if they are really homeless or not. Of course, with the weather being subzero lately, I think it's a safe bet that those still out there are for real. I try to give them food if I have any, rather than cash.
My mom never allowed us to beg for things. The more we begged, the madder she got, so we knew it wouldn't work with her. Same with my kids - begging never worked for them, either. My granddaughter begging sometimes works, though. Having grandkids is so different from having kids! Maybe since they don't live with us, I don't know, but Lexi knows I'm putty in her hands!!
Begging pisses me off when it's a group of kids at a street corner begging for money for their sports team or whatever. I usually see it in the inner city, all the kids standing in the street begging. They should have a car wash or a bake sale or something, not just stand on the street corner and ask for money!! I learned a long time ago that if you have a group do a car wash, you make MORE money if you advertise it as a "free" car wash (donations accepted), rather than assigning a cost to it. Sure, there are going to be a few stupid people who get their free car wash and don't donate, but it's made up for by the other people who give your group a $10 or $20 bill and say keep the change!
Hi Cindy - I'm with you on the kids and begging thing. I taught my kids early on that begging was a sure fire way to get a "no" from me. It doesn't inspire within me a desire to help - UNLESS - I know the person really is despearate...
Interestingly, as I think about it, knowing a person is desperate, or seeing a desperate person, doesn't necessarily trigger an immediate "helping hand" response. HOWEVER if a person is desperate and they ask me or beg me for help - I will always do what I can...
Which brings me to the question of: Shouldn't I just see the need and immediately offer to lend a hand? Is that me being self absorbed? selfish? uncaring? unaware? all those things I don't want to be?
And what's the difference between children and grandchildren? I too am much more inclined to give in to begging when it's my granddaughter... In fact, she rarely has to even resort to begging because I will pretty much give her whatever she wants (if I can...)
I also agree about the free carwash donations accepted thing - maybe this spring I'll try something like that...
Anyway, thanks Cindy! Great input!
Just one question, Shirley...where can I find a purse like yours? So cool!
It seems like begging can't be discussed without incorporating personal judgment. It's like an automatic reflex that the brain has that asks, "Does this person have a legitimate need and is what they are doing RIGHT?" Maybe that's why the whole thing is so totally uncomfortable to me because I know we aren't being loving if we are casting judgment. I used to think I was feeling weird about beggars because I had more and they had less ad I couldn't fix that. Perhaps that's not it. Do I avoid people who are begging to avoid engaging that part of my brain that is doing something I don't like? I started to try engaging my brain differently when I see someone standing on the corner holding a cardboard sign. I send them a blessing; I look for something attractive about them; I ponder their life story; I smile or say, "Have a nice day". I don't want to feel shame when I see another person. I want to honor them. But begging triggers my brain and I have to work at it.
I agree, Karla. It feels weird when you are parked at a stoplight and there is someone standing there with a cardboard sign. I am usually trying to read their sign and size them up, the whole time pretending like I'm NOT, and trying not to make eye contact. Then if eye contact is made, I feel guilty that I'm not helping them. It is an uncomfortable situation and that does contribute to feeling weird about begging in general.
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