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Wow! This is Amazing!

Thursday, June 04, 2009

cliffhanger


Up until now, I have been believing what I've been reading about energy drains. And what I've been reading is that "Most of us have many things in our lives that we tolerate but which drain us of energy. These include messy cupboards, un-filed paperwork, appliances that don’t work properly, shoddy paintwork and furniture, unfinished projects, poor communication, unanswered emails, unreturned phone calls, overflowing trash baskets unpaid bills, poor boundaries, rudeness, noise pollution, cluttered rooms, living in a neighborhood or doing a job you hate, etc. etc. etc!"

And here's what suddenly occurred to me. NONE OF THAT IS TRUE!! Not one bit of it. It is not the mess and the unfinished business, nor is it the bills and the relationship issues that drain our energy. It's what we TELL our selves about those things. It's the stories we make up about them, the judgments we hold against ourselves because of them, it's our own inner dialogue that causes our fatigue and our feelings of being defeated and overwhelmed.

So, I started experimenting with telling myself DIFFERENT stories about my "stuff." Better stories, stories that make me smile. And guess what, it worked! As a matter of fact, it's been working really well.

For the last couple of days, I've been seeing my life and the people in it from a completely new perspective, and I can tell you that I have a lot more energy, more enthusiasm, more happiness, and well... I just flat out feel better about life on earth.

Before my big aha! moment, I'd look at my dining room table which is piled high with God only knows what... (Most of that stuff's been there so long I don't even remember what the top of the table looks like.) and I'd sort of shudder, and I'd say to myself, "That looks like shit." Which actually means, "I'm a worthless piece of shit for letting it get that bad." And I'd think to myself that I really SHOULD clean it up, and that I HAVE to get it done, and I BETTER do it soon, and then I'd get really really tired, my shoulders would tense up, and I'd rush on past the table and try not to look at it again for the rest of the day.

After my big aha! moment, I look at that mess on the table and I think... "What an amazingly wonderful mess!" Sometimes, I stop and look at it and I wonder what treasures are hiding there. Then, I think about how one day I'll have the time and the energy to sort through it all, and that will be fun. At which point, I have a smile on my face and I'm off and running... on to the next part of my day.

Before my big aha! moment, I'd look at the melted siding on the back of my trailer, and tell myself stories about how I can't afford to fix it, and it looks terrible, and my whole life is falling apart, and how am I going to ever get it done because I CAN'T do it and I DON'T have the energy and I'm weak and incompetent and totally lacking in resources and gumption, how it's all too much for poor little me, and by the time I was done with myself I'd be scrambling for beer and chips, I'd be tense and tired. My life would suck and I'd be playing free cell and mindlessly surfing the internet for hours just to avoid doing ANYTHING at all.

After my big aha! moment, I looked at the melted siding and thought about how amazing it was that it melted instead of caught on fire, and what a miracle that was. And I thought about all those really nice people who were working their asses off to put the fire out. I wish I could thank them again. And then I thought about how interesting the siding looked... the shapes and the textures that were created as the vinyl melted and shrank. So cool.

And whenever I catch myself in judgment, bad mouthing Shirley, or torturing her in some way because she isn't living up to expectations, or she made a mistake, or I don't know... things aren't going well, I smile to myself and say, "Ah grasshopper..." and then I make an attempt to see without judgment so I can tell myself a story that isn't critical or unkind. I look for a place of acceptance and when I find it, my heart softens, and I remember that I am amazing, and wonderful. And the people around me are amazing and wonderful. And the stuff that I'm looking at is, actually pretty amazing too, maybe even wonderful.

I'd also like to add that I was able to apply the above technique at work... bathing big fat smelly hairy dogs, dogs that freak out and poop in the tub, dogs that bark and bite and slobber, and throw up. I cleaned up a really astonishing pile of vomit the other day. Wow! It was just amazing! And if I can clean up puke and think "Wow! This is amazing!" Then you can look at yourself in the mirror and say, "Wow! What an amazingly wonderful person!" And if you can look at yourself and say that, you can look at your clutter, your bills, your unfinished business, your spouse, your neighbor, your car and say the same thing or maybe even something better.

What do you think? Anyone willing to try it? If you do give it a try, I'd love to hear what your experiences are. And if you totally disagree with me, I'd love to hear about that too.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Okay so after another night of almost no sleep. I am going to try today to tell myself another/different story. A better story. One where I am not a loser, tired, and any other of the mental criticisms that run through my mind like really, really bad muzak.

Anonymous said...

Okay so after another night of almost no sleep. I am going to try today to tell myself another/different story. A better story. One where I am not a loser, tired, and any other of the mental criticisms that run through my mind like really, really bad muzak.

Cindy H said...

I think it's a very interesting idea and proposition! As I read it, I could hear the naysayers saying "that's just called denial" and "looking at the world through rose colored glasses". Well, maybe, but why not? I have always tried to look at the bright side, count my blessings and see things in a positive light, so I agree with you, Shirley, and I think that is why I AM in a better place now than I was 2 or 3 years ago!

I can totally relate to how you have been living your life- putting yourself down and listening to the old tapes in your head that say you are lazy, worthless, not worth anything.

And I can honestly say that I agree with your AHA moment! I DON'T think it's just denial! I agree that we need to change the voices in our heads and make them say good things about ourselves, our lives, our stuff.

Shirley, I'm so glad you had this moment of clarity! I have seen you hurting now for so many years and everybody has to have their own AHA moment - sometimes it comes in a flash like Shirley's, and sometimes it comes by reading somebody else's moment.

I will make a concerted effort to CONTINUE to look at the bright side, count my blessings and see the world as I choose to see it!

I have to say that looking at our energy drains is still a good idea. I have definitely identified some things in my life that have been zapping my energy even though I HAVE been reframing most things in my life for a couple of years now. Making the lists of energy drains has opened my eyes to some areas that need some attention and I appreciate you and this prosperity project for that as well as many other eye-opening ideas!

Two Feathers said...

Hello anonymous - well? did you come up with a better story?

Two Feathers said...

Hi Cindy - as you can see from tonight's post, my great aha moment has been tested - and I think it came out OK in the end.

Also, I'm glad that you'be been finding it helpful to really look at all the different things that can drain your energy - I do have more stuff that I'll be posting soon, some of it is really specific and helpful.

It feels way easier to take action in my life when I'm not badmouthing myself. So, now that I've got that out of the way, I'm hoping to get my life running a little more smoothly.

Thanks guys for your comments! I love you both and think you are awesome.

Anonymous said...

What a great perspective. I sat down this morning, dreading what's before me - catching up on paperwork. In the back of my mind is the worry that my bank account balance is insufficient to meet my bills. After reading these posts about mindsets, I'm still worried about money, but in a more detached way. I will commit time and energy to my money management, but since I have no spare money lying around, I won't worry about it now - I also won't beat up on myself about it - which usually leads to more spending. My paperwork is a chore that I can enjoy. Looking at it unfinished is terrible, THEREFORE, finishing it will be terrific, right. That's logical! Thanks so much for the post! Wow, This IS amazing!

Two Feathers said...

Hi anonymous - you're welcome and thanks for posting - I love to hear about whether or not these ideas are working... looks like this one is!

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